JANUARY, 15TH, 2003 - ON THE HOWARD STERN RADIO SHOW, IN NEW YORK, DICK DELICIOUS AND THE TASTY TESTICLES BECAME THE FIRST EVER RECIPIENTS OF THE HOWARD STERN AWARD FOR EXCELLENCE IN THE FIELD OF MUSIC. HOWARD EXPLAINED THAT OFTEN TIMES THE PEOPLE WHO CREATE THE BEST MUSIC ARE NEVER REWARDED FOR IT, AND HE WANTED TO GIVE OUT AN AWARD FOR MAKING MUSIC THAT HE FINDS ORIGINAL, SPECIAL, AND DIFFERENT FROM THE "SAME OLE', SAME OLE'". STERN MADE DICK DELICIOUS AND THE TASTY TESTICLES WINNERS OF THE FIRST H.S.A. AWARD.
JUST SO YOU DON'T THINK I'M MAKING THIS SHIT UP, HERE IS HOW IT WAS WRITTEN UP BY (#1 Stern Fan site) WWW.MARKSFRIGGIN.COM:
Dick Delicious And The Tasty Testicles Receive The Howard Stern Award. 1/15/03. 7:20am
After the commercial break Howard said he just wanted to say that some of the people who write the greatest music aren't rewarded. He brought this up because he'd watched the American Music Awards and the People's Choice Awards. Howard said he wanted to create his own award called the Howard Stern Award. He said he wanted to present the first award to the winners of his award so he had the guys bring in Dick Delicious and the Tasty Testicles who wrote ''Diarrhea''.
To listen to the depravity for yourself; an MP3 of the proceedings
is here:
CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO AN MP3 CLIP OF DICK DELICIOUS
ON STERN
We don't know when/if it will make the E TV show, but we'll let you know as soon as we know about it! I'm told it may be in a few weeks, but we are not holding our breath. One thing I can tell you, for sure, is that we were completely fucking wasted (you can probably tell on the MP3) and Howard didn't grill us at all. We clocked in at about 80% compliments and 20% ribbing - an unusual ratio for, the notoriously harsh, Howard Stern! I think that Howard really is big fan of the band. He was all praise, and that's great for us! Thank You Howard Stern!!
Here are some more details on how it went down:
After he had featured our music numerous times in late October we had our booking agent attempt getting us on the show and he was successful - (thanks Atlantic Pacific Entertainment). So, after we finished our 9 to 5's on Monday we packed ourselves in like sardines into our roadworthy, hungry, mean touring rumple pig and with the aid of some not-so-good directions from Mapquest.com we managed to stretch the 14 hour drive up to NYC to 17.5 hours. Shortly before our arrival in NYC, I got a call from one of the show's producers and feared that it would be to cancel us because a retarded midget porn star, that would bring higher ratings, had been booked. He asked some preliminary questions, and I was quite surprised that they had done a decent amount of research into the history of the band. We finally made our way into New York City, arriving at 2PM the next afternoon. I caught about two or three hours of sleep in our hotel room and went out for "a few drinks" ("a few drinks" = total BS, it is BS about the caliber of "The check is in the mail…", and "No, I won't cum in your mouth…" style BS). We hit a couple of bars, got a little buzz, and then the BIG question came up? Do we go back to the hotel and sleep or keep it going all night? Now, we wouldn't want to endure sobriety to wake up early enough for our 6AM appointment with the "King of All Media" - would we? We wouldn't want to show up as last night's backwash…or would we? I mean just in case we were walking into a Stern Sponsored Roast of the Common Folk, we wouldn't want to be *SOBER* - would we? HELL NO - we decided to stay out all night…
The evening continued on, venturing through various bars in NYC, deviating, for several hours, to the financial bloodbath and so not-worth-it NYC strip club / tourist trap hustle - "Scores". There, it was suggested by Paul from www.ConsumptionJunction.com that we do a half hit, or so, of LSD so we could "stay awake". After becoming heavily intoxicated on a 300$ bar tab courtesy of www.consumptionjunction.com, Paul leaned over and said, "You know, all you have to do is say the word, and I can come on with you guys…". CJ has done a lot to help us, "Sure, why not - let's do it…" So we made our way back to the hotel to wake up Hugh and Stu, who did have enough sense to sleep, all dropped more acid because "we were not feeling it enough", and stepped up the alcohol intake by 5000%.
Shortly after 6AM, we caught a cab to 57th street, got out, took the elevator up to the studio (with all beer, Jaeger, and Shortly after 6AM, we caught a cab to 57th street, got out, took the elevator up to the studio (with all beer, Jaeger, and Crown still in tow), and waited in the Infinity Broadcasting lobby. After a few minutes, when an intern met us at the front. She presented us with some papers explaining that we would be searched and would have to sign releases before going on the show. They were not interested in illicit substances, as much as they didn't want some Christian asshole sneaking in there with a gun and shooting Howard (a very smart move - that would suck :). However, at the mention of a search, a certain unnamed member of Consumption Junction panicked, went out to the elevator, and went stashed a tin of suspicious substances in the bushes outside the studio. After the security guy searched me, saw that I was carrying half a bar in with me, and didn't give a fuck - I phoned Paul and informed him the he need not worry, he should go back, and get the tin - less we be forced to "dry up". When asked to show the security personal the contents of the tin, Paul explained that "he didn't know" what was on all of those blotter papers and graham crackers, and walked in.
6:45 or so…the partying continued in the infamous "Green Room", where even more LSD and booze were consumed. We looked at the scenic daybreak of the NYC skyline through the windows, saw the leering faces of Beetlejuice and Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf staring from the wall, as the chemicals pumped through our brains and adrenaline surged. It was only minutes till show time and we still didn't know why we were being asked on…but, we brought a few scantily clad women along, pulled an all night bender, drank up a storm, and had taken plenty of LSD just to be safe. Then, one of the interns burst in, tossed us all headphones, lead us into the studio and explained to us the Howard had some kind of award the he was ready to present us. While that was happening Hugh was in the bathroom pissing out ¾ of a case of Bud light and barely made it in with the rest of the group.
Upon walking in that room (why does it always happen this way??!!) all of that acid *REALLY STARTED HITTING* I was so double bent that Howard, that was sitting in his booth from far across the room, resembled a cross between one of the Darleks from Dr. Who and the Crypt Keeper in Tales From The Crypt. I couldn't believe it - I was tripping my fucking face off now, but (for the most part) I think I was able to hold it together rather nicely (a few slurred words aside). Howard was really cool and very complementary (which ain't par for the course) - so that's pretty fuckin' cool. The whole interview was pretty quick - it was like 10 minutes total, but seemed way longer when we were in there. Soon as the interview was over, it was back to the greenroom and out to the streets. For the after party, Hugh and Stu found $110 worth of parking tickets (only the beginning of our New York $275 accumulation on that visit) on the van, I did the Technicolor Yawn all over Broadway (in front of the bright eyed, bushy tailed morning commuters), Paul pissed in a phone booth in one of NYC's biggest areas of pedestrian traffic in that district, and threatened a cab driver, while explaining how much he loved to "suck his own cock". Later that day, the pigeons came along and ate my vomit.
Where do we go from here? That's a lot of national exposure for some small
timers like us. We just gotta keep riding this wave to the next thing and keep
up the momentum that brought us up to and through this Stern thing. Who knows,
maybe even get on there again. One thing I do know is, our website logged 10,000
hits within a few hours, and I'm still trying to ship all of the orders for
CD's and shirts () we received, and there was a SHITLOAD! Holy shit…we
might even be able to cover our fucking parking tickets!! Once again, thanks
Howard - it was a much needed break for us!
You can some pictures of this debauchery here:
http://www.dickdelicious.com/howard_stern/stern_pics.html
IF YOU HAVE READ THIS FAR, YOU ARE CONTRACTUALLY OBLIGATED TO SEND AN E-MAIL TO HOWARD STERN AT STERNSHOW@HOWARDSTERN.COM AND TELL HIS PEOPLE HOW MUCH YOU LOVE US!
ALL OF THE INTERNET LINKS YOU WILL EVER NEED TO KNOW:
AUDIO FROM THE STERN SHOW:
CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO AN MP3 CLIP OF DICK DELICIOUS
ON STERN
How we made the big-time:
http://www.dickd.com/howard_stern/index.html
http://www.dickd.com/howard_stern/index_2.htm
Read Paul's take on this from www.consumptionjunction.com:
http://www.consumptionjunction.com/home.asp
By the time you read this the page may have moved here:
http://www.consumptionjunction.com/feat/homepage/home_detail.asp?id=345&page=1
What it sounds like:
http://www.liquored-up.com/mp3s/dick_delicious_on_howard_stern.mp3
http://www.dickd.com/howard_stern/mp3/2_howard_stern.mp3
http://www.dickd.com/howard_stern/mp3/1_howard_stern.mp3
http://www.dickd.com/howard_stern/mp3/3_howard_stern.mp3
Dick Delicious and the Tasty Testicles
http://www.dickdelicious.com
Liquored Up Prank Calls
http://www.liquored-up.com
Jay's XXX Links (for free porn)
http://www.jays-xxx-links.com
Thanks for your readership,
Dick Delicious and the Tasty Testicles