Dick Delicious Recieves First Ever “The Howard Stern Award For Musical Excellence”


DICK DELICIOUS AND THE TASTY TESTICLES BECOME THE RECIPIENTSOF THE FIRST EVER HOWARD STERN AWARD FOR EXCELLENCE IN MUSIC

JANUARY, 15TH, 2003 – ON THE HOWARD STERN RADIO SHOW, IN NEW YORK, DICK DELICIOUS AND THE TASTY TESTICLES BECAME THE FIRST EVER RECIPIENTS OF THE HOWARD STERN AWARD FOR EXCELLENCE IN THE FIELD OF MUSIC. HOWARD EXPLAINED THAT OFTEN TIMES THE PEOPLE WHO CREATE THE BEST MUSIC ARE NEVER REWARDED FOR IT, AND HE WANTED TO GIVE OUT AN AWARD FOR MAKING MUSIC THAT HE FINDS ORIGINAL, SPECIAL, AND DIFFERENT FROM THE "SAME OLE’, SAME OLE’". STERN MADE DICK DELICIOUS AND THE TASTY TESTICLES WINNERS OF THE FIRST H.S.A. AWARD.

To listen to the depravity here:
CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO AN MP3 CLIP OF DICK DELICIOUS
ON STERN

HERE IS HOW IT
WAS WRITTEN UP BY (#1 Stern Fan site) WWW.MARKSFRIGGIN.COM:

Dick Delicious And The Tasty Testicles Receive
The Howard Stern Award. 1/15/03. 7:20am
After the commercial break Howard said he just wanted to say that some of
the people who write the greatest music aren’t rewarded. He brought this up
because he’d watched the American Music Awards and the People’s Choice Awards.
Howard said he wanted to create his own award called the Howard Stern Award.
He said he wanted to present the first award to the winners of his award so
he had the guys bring in Dick Delicious and the Tasty Testicles who wrote
”Diarrhea”.

We don’t know when/if it will make the E TV show, but we’ll let
you know as soon as we know about it! I’m told it may be in a few weeks, but
we are not holding our breath. One thing I can tell you, for sure, is that we
were completely fucking wasted (you can probably tell on the MP3) and Howard
didn’t grill us at all. We clocked in at about 80% compliments and 20% ribbing
– an unusual ratio for, the notoriously harsh, Howard Stern! I think that Howard
really is big fan of the band. He was all praise, and that’s great for us! Thank
You Howard Stern!!

scott

Here are some more details on how
it went down:

After he had featured our
music numerous times in late October
we had our booking agent attempt getting
us on the show and he
was successful
. So, after we finished our 9 to 5’s on Monday we
packed ourselves in like sardines into our roadworthy, hungry, mean touring
rumple pig and with the aid of some not-so-good directions from Mapquest.com
we managed to stretch the 14 hour drive up to NYC to 17.5 hours. Shortly before
our arrival in NYC, I got a call from one of the show’s producers and feared
that it would be to cancel us because a retarded midget porn star, that would
bring higher ratings, had been booked. He asked some preliminary questions,
and I was quite surprised that they had done a decent amount of research into
the history of the band. We finally made our way into New York City, arriving
at 2PM the next afternoon. I caught about two or three hours of sleep in our
hotel room and went out for "a few drinks" ("a few drinks"
= total BS, it is BS about the caliber of "The check is in the mail…",
and "No, I won’t cum in your mouth…" style BS). We hit a couple
of bars, got a little buzz, and then the BIG question came up? Do we go back
to the hotel and sleep or keep it going all night? Now, we wouldn’t want to
endure sobriety to wake up early enough for our 6AM appointment with the "King
of All Media" – would we? We wouldn’t want to show up as last night’s backwash…or
would we? I mean just in case we were walking into a Stern Sponsored Roast of
the Common Folk, we wouldn’t want to be *SOBER* – would we? HELL NO – we decided
to stay out all night…

The evening continued on, venturing through various bars in NYC,
deviating, for several hours, to the financial bloodbath and so not-worth-it
NYC strip club / tourist trap hustle – "Scores". There, it was suggested
by Paul from www.ConsumptionJunction.com
that we do a half hit, or so, of LSD so we could "stay awake". After
becoming heavily intoxicated on a 300$ bar tab courtesy of www.consumptionjunction.com,
Paul leaned over and said, "You know, all you have to do is say the word,
and I can come on with you guys…". CJ has done a lot to help us, "Sure,
why not – let’s do it…" So we made our way back to the hotel to wake
up Hugh and Stu, who did have enough sense to sleep, all dropped more acid because
"we were not feeling it enough", and stepped up the alcohol intake
by 5000%.

Shortly after 6AM, we caught a cab to 57th street, got out, took
the elevator up to the studio (with all beer, Jaeger, and Shortly after 6AM,
we caught a cab to 57th street, got out, took the elevator up to the studio
(with all beer, Jaeger, and Crown still in tow), and waited in the Infinity
Broadcasting lobby. After a few minutes, when an intern met us at the front.
She presented us with some papers explaining that we would be searched and would
have to sign releases before going on the show. They were not interested in
illicit substances, as much as they didn’t want some Christian asshole sneaking
in there with a gun and shooting Howard (a very smart move – that would suck
:). However, at the mention of a search, a certain unnamed member of Consumption
Junction panicked, went out to the elevator, and went stashed a tin of suspicious
substances in the bushes outside the studio. After the security guy searched
me, saw that I was carrying half a bar in with me, and didn’t give a fuck –
I phoned Paul and informed him the he need not worry, he should go back, and
get the tin – less we be forced to "dry up". When asked to show the
security personal the contents of the tin, Paul explained that "he didn’t
know" what was on all of those blotter papers and graham crackers, and
walked in.

6:45 or so…the partying continued in the infamous "Green
Room", where even more LSD and booze were consumed. We looked at the scenic
daybreak of the NYC skyline through the windows, saw the leering faces of Beetlejuice
and Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf staring from the wall, as the chemicals pumped
through our brains and adrenaline surged. It was only minutes till show time
and we still didn’t know why we were being asked on…but, we brought a few
scantily clad women along, pulled an all night bender, drank up a storm, and
had taken plenty of LSD just to be safe. Then, one of the interns burst in,
tossed us all headphones, lead us into the studio and explained to us the Howard
had some kind of award the he was ready to present us. While that was happening
Hugh was in the bathroom pissing out ¾ of a case of Bud light and barely
made it in with the rest of the group.

Upon walking in that room (why does it always happen this way??!!) all of that
acid *REALLY STARTED HITTING* I was so double bent that Howard, that was sitting
in his booth from far across the room, resembled a cross between one of the
Darleks from Dr. Who and the Crypt Keeper in Tales From The Crypt. I couldn’t
believe it – I was tripping my fucking face off now, but (for the most part)
I think I was able to hold it together rather nicely (a few slurred words aside).
Howard was really cool and very complementary (which ain’t par for the course)
– so that’s pretty fuckin’ cool. The whole interview was pretty quick – it was
like 10 minutes total, but seemed way longer when we were in there. Soon as
the interview was over, it was back to the greenroom and out to the streets.
For the after party, Hugh and Stu found $110 worth of parking tickets (only
the beginning of our New York $275 accumulation on that visit) on the van, I
did the Technicolor Yawn all over Broadway (in front of the bright eyed, bushy
tailed morning commuters), Paul pissed in a phone booth in one of NYC’s biggest
areas of pedestrian traffic in that district, and threatened a cab driver, while
explaining how much he loved to "suck his own cock". Later that day,
the pigeons came along and ate my vomit.

Where do we go from here? That’s a lot of national exposure for some small
timers like us. We just gotta keep riding this wave to the next thing and keep
up the momentum that brought us up to and through this Stern thing. Who knows,
maybe even get on there again. One thing I do know is, our website logged 10,000
hits within a few hours, and I’m still trying to ship all of the orders for
CD’s and shirts () we received, and there was a SHITLOAD! Holy shit…we
might even be able to cover our fucking parking tickets!! Once again, thanks
Howard – it was a much needed break for us!

You can some pictures of this debauchery here:
http://www.dickdelicious.com/howard_stern/stern_pics.html

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I'm the singer / guitarsist / do everything guy for this rag tag outfit. It's glorious!
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