DICK HAS QUIT THE BAND…MEANING THAT: DICK DELICIOUS AND THE TASTY TESTICLES
HAVE BROKEN UP AND ARE NO MORE
After 10 years, almost dozens of drummers, thousands of
gigs, gallons of blood, sweat, and tears – I thought it would all pay
off in the end. I thought there was some kind of Karmic Balance to life.
If you were true, and stuck to what you believed in; you would be rewarded
in the end. I could not have been more wrong…who ever said “life
sucks then you die” was dead on the money – being a sellout pays.
Effective 4/29/2003, Dick Delicious has officially disbanded, for good.
I started Dick Delicious when I was a scant 19 years of
age with Hugh G Rection. We had a pretty good run. At many points in our
career we were considered “The next big thing”, we’ve had Howard
Stern bring us on the show to give us the prestigious award for excellence
in music, and through the years, there were many other cracks in the haze
of obscurity. I always thought if you stick to your guns, are determined,
and play hard – it would pay off. I am sad to say that day will never
happen. As one of the founding members of a band that has been in existence
since 1992, and that once had so much promise — I have quit Dick Delicious
and the Tasty Testicles.
We thought it we finally got our big break, after we were
featured on Howard Stern, but we were wrong — so wrong. The last nail
in the coffin was our, aptly named, drummer Stu Pidasso. We have had 11
drummers. I have no desire to teach “Nuclear Beer Fart” to another
fucking god dammed worthless drummer for the rest of my life.
Yes, it was drummers that killed Dick D. They are sorry
ass fucking whining bitches that will tell you whatever they think you
think that you want to hear to get in the band, and then down the line
always flake out on you. I know I’ve said this many times before, drummers
are not musicians — they are people with not talent that hang around
The evening of April 28th, it was supposed to be nothing
more a simple “band meeting”. We needed to talk about the various
problems that we’ve been having touring, getting some work done with our
management, and so on. When we recruited Stu Pidasso, he was fully aware
of our history with drummers, and it was well explained what we expected
of him. He switches it all up goes on telling us how we need to cancel
all the rest of the shows we have booked, how we need to reinvent the
band, etc. All along I knew full well that he ain’t gonna do god damned
thing except try and get his side bands going, and let me do all the work
for this one. It was easy to see he just wanted to ride as many coattails
as possible. In so many words explains that he his “side projects”
that “had better not be binding” under our new management contract…now
I am starting to see the writing on the wall. Stu Pidasso ain’t part of
the Dick Delicious team, Stu Pidasso is all about Stu Pidasso. Then he
goes on how – you know – “if Lincon Park called him up and needed
a drummer” that he’d have to do it…IT WAS AT THAT POINT SOMETHING
JUST SNAPPED INSIDE OF ME. I do 99% of the work for this band, I’ve been
doing this for 10 years, and I have too much pride to be talked down to
by some lazy worthless fuck and kiss his ass — so he won’t quit! Especially
when he does nothing – I mean nothing, to support the band, other than
show up for gigs and practice. SO FUCK HIM, AND FUCK THIS BAND!
The decision was made at lightning speed
I said, “I’m sorry, I quit.”, then grabbed my
bag, and walked out of the room. I got on my bike, and started peddling
back to my humble abode through the tepid springtime air. I always wondered
the demise of DDTT would be. I figured that we’d persevere till there
was some kind of big payoff, and ride off into the sunset. There would
be no such good fortune. We never were ones to play by “the rules”
the music industry set forth. I guess that’s what killed us; that and
flakey ass, two faced, lying, worthless, lazy, self absorbed drummers.
I often wondered what it would feel like when it ended.
I figured that it would be really depressing. After all, I have invested
10 years of my life into this. Surprisingly, it wasn’t. The felling was
more liberating than anything, really. Now I can go on and do anything
I want. I don’t have to spend three or four hours a day toiling, doing
all of the legwork for this band (something that I have never enjoyed).
Good will come of this, anything can happen for me now. I can parlay the
“success” of this band into future projects, and learn from
the faux pas of DDTT.
I will move on to bigger and better things. Hugh Rection
and Stu are free to carry on with the band without me, if they choose
to do so, but I would say that it’s almost 99.99% certain that this is
the end for Dick Delicious and the Tasty Testicles. I will not go back
on my decision.
The whole reason I’ve been in this fucking rat race, they
call the music industry, is for my love of performing. My mind is already
churning with ideas of what I will do next…I will keep you informed.
For our long time fans, we love you, we appreciate your
support, and we are sorry that it had to end like this.
I hope you will stay in touch, and keep and open ear to
whatever comes out of this in the future!
PS: If anyone has a worthwhile project that they need an
accomplished guitar player, singer, or bassist for a worthwhile project
– feel free to get a hold of me at firstname.lastname@example.org,
I’m available. I am willing to leave the Atlanta area if the offer is
Jay (formerly Dick Delicious)